Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
