he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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