I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
