i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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