U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
