Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
