If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
