Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
