I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
