K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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