i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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