How'd it feel making her break her religion?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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