you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
