I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
