i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
