that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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