new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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