i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize