i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
