I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
