I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
