Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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