38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
