After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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