I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Randomize
