it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
