I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I would fuck him just for his dog
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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