i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Bring me that man meat
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
