; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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