do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
