sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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