If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
