Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
