You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
