It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I wish I only lived at night.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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