idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
