You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I skipped work to stalk him.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
