I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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