Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
