just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
