its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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