hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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