problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
