i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
