Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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