Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
