Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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