She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
