why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
