I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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