Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
