I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize