Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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