i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
