Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
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