when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
His hands were made for my vagina.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
