Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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