it wasn't lemon gatorade
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
