You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize