Ambien. No doubt about it.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
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