I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
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